Remember when you got that shiny new title of engineering manager? You probably thought, “No big deal. I’ll just keep coding and manage the team on the side.”

Let’s talk about why trying to be a superhero is actually your kryptonite.

The Pull of Writing Code

You miss those days when you could hide behind your screen for hours, right? When your biggest problem was deciding between tabs or spaces?

Now you’re trying to write as much code as before, plus handle all these new management tasks. It’s like trying to pat your head, rub your belly, and solve a Rubik’s cube at the same time.

Let me tell you about my own journey from my coding role to exhausted manager.

My “Oh No” Moment

When I first became a manager, I thought I had it all figured out. I’d code with my team, fix every issue myself, and somehow magically handle everything else.

Can you guess what happened? I was tired all the time, my team felt useless, and we missed more opportunities than a sleeping security guard.

Things Changed

It wasn’t until I stopped trying to be the coding hero (working at Course Hero) and started actually leading that everything got better. And when I say everything, I mean:

• We got more done (turns out, people work better when you’re not breathing down their necks)
• The team was happier (apparently, people like it when you trust them)
• I got invited to important meetings (where, surprise surprise, they didn’t need my opinion on JavaScript frameworks)

Lead, Don’t Code

To be a good engineering manager, you need to focus on making your team better, giving them work to do, and thinking about the big picture.

Imagine you’re leading an orchestra. Sure, you might know how to play every instrument, but that’s not your job. Your job is to make everyone play well together.

If you tried to play every instrument yourself, it would sound like a cat running across a piano… while being chased by a dog… during a thunderstorm.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But Tudor, how do I know this isn’t just made-up management talk?”

Google did a big study called Project Oxygen. They looked at thousands of surveys and reviews to figure out what makes a great manager.

Guess what? Being good at tech stuff was last on the list of top 10 things that make a great manager.

Let that sink in for a minute. I’ll wait.

The top things were:

1. Being a good coach
2. Letting the team make decisions
3. Caring about team members
4. Productive and results-oriented
5. Being a good communicator
6. Helping with career development
7. Having a clear vision and strategy for the team
8. Knowing enough tech stuff to help the team

Notice how “being the best coder” isn’t on that list?

Embrace Your New Job

So, how do you stop being the coding hero and start being a real leader? Here are some tips:

1. Give Work to Others

Start small. Pick something you usually do and give it to someone on your team. Yes, they might take longer. Yes, they might do it differently. But that’s okay. You’re playing the long game here.

2. Think About the Big Picture

Instead of writing code, spend that time thinking about what’s next. Where should your team be in six months? A year? How can your team’s work help the whole company?

3. Learn to Be a Better Leader

Remember how you used to spend hours learning new coding languages? Do that for leadership skills now. Read books, go to workshops, and get someone to coach you (hint, hint).

4. Get to Know People

Your job is about people now, not just code. Spend time getting to know your team. What do they want in their careers? How can you help them grow?

5. Learn to Talk to Different People

You’re now the bridge between your team and everyone else. Learn how to explain tech stuff to non-tech people, and business stuff to your team.

What’s In It For You?

By now, you’re probably thinking, “This sounds like a lot of work. What do I get out of it?”

Well, here’s what you can look forward to:

• A team that does great work (which makes you look good)
• More time to think about important stuff (and maybe even eat lunch away from your desk)
• Moving up in your career faster (because companies love managers who see the big picture)
• Feeling good when your team members do well (it’s like being a proud parent, but with less diaper changing)
• A chance to make big decisions for your project or company (feel the power!)

Time to Lead, Not Code

I know, I know. Letting go of coding can feel like losing a part of yourself. But here’s the thing: you’re not losing anything. You’re growing.

You’re using all that tech knowledge to guide and help others. You’re making a bigger difference.

So, next time you want to jump in and code to save the day, stop for a second. Ask yourself: “Am I being a hero, or am I helping my team become heroes?”

Because that’s what great engineering managers do. They don’t try to be the star. They help everyone become better.

Trust me, it’s way more fun than being the lone coding wolf. Plus, you usually get a better job title and a nicer pay bump.

So, are you ready to stop being the coding superhero and start being the team leader? Your team is waiting. And who knows? You might find that leading is even better than fixing that tricky bug at 2 in the morning.

As Steve Jobs once said, “Great things in business are never done by one person. They’re done by a team of people.”

Ready to Level Up Your Leadership?

If you’re struggling with the transition from coder to leader, you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and I’ve helped others navigate this challenging but rewarding journey.

As a leadership coach specializing in engineering, I can help you:

• Develop strategies to delegate effectively
• Build your confidence as a leader
• Learn to communicate with both tech and non-tech teams
• Create a high-performing team culture
• Balance your technical knowledge with your leadership role

Don’t let the weight of trying to do it all hold you back. Let’s work together to unlock your potential as a true engineering leader.

Ready to take the next step? Reach out for a free 30-minute strategy session. We’ll discuss your challenges and see if we’re a good fit to work together.

Your team deserves a great leader. You deserve to be that leader. Let’s make it happen.